Not all news organizations wear capes. Some simply pay PACER fees. On Wednesday, the federal government officially shut down for want of a budget. And while you can’t get your tour at the Jimmy Carter museum, there is at least one section of our co-equal branches of government that is still operating largely because there’s a cohort of Court Watchers that will forever be the Tywin Lannister of the U.S. Courts. We always pay our debt.
By mid-morning Wednesday, the U.S. Courts sent an update on their current status, stating that, “Despite a federal government shutdown that began on Oct. 1, the Judiciary remains open and will continue paid operations through Friday, Oct. 17, by using court fee balances…”
The “court fee balance” is, in part, a fancy way of saying we’ll charge 10 cents a page for you to open up a document that is absolutely worthless.
With still a few months left in the year, we’ve paid the U.S. Courts $9,438.10 so far in PACER fees. Looking at the typical salary for a magistrate, that represents enough to keep at least one federal judge on the bench for two weeks. It turns out you can buy a judge and not even commit a crime.
Unencumbered by yearly appropriations, the U.S. Courts press on. Starting late Tuesday evening, the Justice Department filed a wave of stay motions, citing the lack of money to be able to continue to litigate legality. On the first day of the government shutdown, the judges across the country largely conceded to the prosecutors' political impasse plights. However, by Thursday it was quickly starting to become a bit of a mix bag. The Ninth Circuit is pretty much continuing business as usual. D.C. moved to extend deadlines for civil cases involving the government, except for Judge Mehta, who declined to grant a stay in the antitrust case against Google. Likewise, a judge in Rhode Island denied a motion for a stay in a case about domestic violence grant funding. Maryland decided to completely deny the government’s motion to extend deadlines for its civil cases for the time being, unless they get opposing counsel to sign on. The Justice Department was still waiting for a response to similar motions in Oregon and Pennsylvania.
Welcome to the thunderdome of stay motions. No one knows how this will all shake out. (Maybe the politicians will take off their AI-induced sombreros and 2028 hats, roll up their sleeves, and figure the budget out.) We know that, in the meantime, at least some of the judiciary will keep chugging along for now.
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The Docket Roundup
We honestly assumed this was a pro-se filing when we saw the first page. Turns out it’s a federal judge’s opinion. To be fair, it appears every judge named Bill was feeling feisty this week.
Limewire, which in a previous iteration was shut down by the courts for copyright infringement, is accusing someone of trademark infringement over a Frye Fest website. You can’t convince us 2025 isn’t a simulation.
A conservative megachurch pastor is suing a pair of right-wing influencer comedian twins known as the Hodgetwins for calling him woke.
Kash Patel’s lawyers filed a motion to keep his defamation case against a former senior FBI agent alive.
The D.C. Circuit said Catherine Herridge has to testify about the source of FBI leaks. For the record, it was a bad ruling.
On the eve of the release of the greatest album in the world’s history, a federal judge dismissed a pro se plaintiff’s case against Taylor Swift for defamation. The pro se plaintiff is currently incarcerated in Montana State Prison.
Guns are now allowed in U.S. Post offices, at least in the Northern District of Texas.
For some reason we picked up 20 new Justice Department subscribers this week. Will one of you let us know if you all just like our stories, or if it’s more of a thing about how we’re maybe about to be indicted? Either is fine, we just want to set our new subscriber expectations. You can hit us up on Telegram.
xAI wants an American judge to order discovery as part of its case against OpenAI in the UK.
A judge denied an attempt by the Trump National Committee PAC to stay discovery on a lawsuit that alleges spammy fundraising texts.
A man with one prior conviction and a history of threatening the president was indicted again after more alleged threats (editor’s note: in a first, the Secret Service agent on the case holds the same degree from Peter’s small liberal arts alma mater. Go Wildcats).
ICE charged four protestors for resisting arrest after an altercation at a facility in Illinois.
A pro-Palestine organization sued Virginia’s attorney general, claiming the state targeted their protected political speech.
It’s unique, but we’ve had this song stuck in our head all week. And it’s been that kind of week in the courts, so you deserve a second song of the week. Peter also had a suggestion for the song of the week. Let us know in the comments which one of us was right.
YouTube settled with President Trump to the tune of 24.5 million dollars for removing him and his supporters following January 6th. Most of the money is allocated for the new White House ballroom.
We stumbled across this March 2025 filing from only this week, but imagine telling your bosses at the SEC that you’ve been litigating a case for 9 months only to realize that the defendant died in 2021.
Judge Sooknanan did not hold back about the U.S. Attorney’s Office for DC’s tactics trying to end-run around a federal grand jury: “In 1940, then-Attorney General Robert H. Jackson famously declared: “The prosecutor has more control over life, liberty, and reputation than any other person in America”... For residents of the District of Columbia, that sentiment reverberates today. For the last several weeks, judges in this District have seen case after case involving unprecedented prosecutorial action.”
AI law researchers, take note.
A defendant in Russia asked a judge in the Southern District of New York to help him access records from American-based banks to potentially support his defense.
Matt Taibbi and the Justice Department are still going at it, with main Justice stepping in. The Justice Department moved to dismiss the case this week, arguing that Taibbi had not sufficiently established monetary damages. Taibbi responded on Tuesday.
A Nebraska man pleaded guilty to spray painting “kill ICE” and attempting to throw a Molotov Cocktail at an ICE office building, which did “not fully function.”
Power couple much? A judge in Oregon recused himself from a case over the troop deployment in Portland because he’s married to a sitting Congresswoman.
In a creative use of the FACE Act, the Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division is suing several pro-Palestine organizations and activists for purported conduct during protests near a New Jersey synagogue.
Folks are shipping hundreds of grams of meth inside 3D printers in Alaska.
The feds say three businessmen used Bitcoin to launder more than 800 grand.
Cardi B gets to learn the rules behind copyright law, which includes a purported violation of it for posting a picture of <checks notes> herself.
A former prosecutor and a criminal defense attorney in Dallas were charged with allegedly deleting text messages during an investigation into whether the prosecutor shared privileged defense information with the attorney.
D.C. District Court Judge Amir Ali had some thoughts about the policy of sending immigrants to countries with questionable human rights records.
The lawsuit brought against the Associated Press by three October 7th victims and their families that argued the news organization hired Hamas-linked freelance reporters was dismissed.
An outside conservative political group is suing New York state to allow them to play advertisements in the Big Apple targeting “the rapid rise of socialism.”
We needed some mental floss this week, and you probably do too, so let’s give you some drama over “MAGA burgers.” Honestly, the AI usage on their restaurant site is something you have to see to believe.
Three people were indicted in the Central District of California for allegedly following an ICE agent home while on an Instagram livestream.
We don’t know why we have to keep saying this over and over, but please don’t bite people on airplanes.
A man who was on probation for threatening a member of Congress admitted to doing it again.
Here are some more redacted docs from former Special Counsel Jack Smith’s case against Trump in DC.
The National Guard Association may have a copyright problem with a former analyst.
An expelled medical student is suing Augusta University over his Title IX case.
The ultra-conservative South Carolina lawmaker, who used the handle “joebidennnn69” to exchange child abuse materials, pleaded guilty.
Two personal injury firms are going at it over who gets to say “We Win.”
Elon Musk didn’t get his wish to change venues in his SEC case to Texas. Also the judge took issue with the idea that her Lone Star State colleagues may be twiddling their thumbs: “The Court is skeptical that judges in the Western District would consider their heavy workloads to be ‘artificially inflated,’ even if many of their cases are resolved quickly.”
Thanks for reading. We’ll be back next Friday for another roundup, assuming the federal courts keep cashing our checks.