Welcome to Court Watch #48. We’re excited to announce a new collaboration with the good folks at 404 Media. Court Watch has been an admirer of the reporters who make up 404 Media and have been avid readers since they started their journalistic endeavor a few months ago. (We take no offense that the New York Times didn’t do a 1,000 word feature on Court Watch when we also launched this year…). Our first 404 Media/Court Watch story was filed this morning regarding a 30 million dollar cryptocurrency-to-cash money mule organization. It involves video surveillance and Aeropostale bags of cash. Plus it’s an exclusive. All our favorite things. You'll see more collaborative stories involving the Interwebz and court records between our two media organizations in the coming days and weeks. We’ll be cross-posting stories we work on together so you can read them here at Court Watch or at 404 Media.
Also in case you missed it, Court Watch put out two original stories this week. The first involves a Texas plastic factory owner who is being investigated for laundering millions for a drug cartel. The second was the story of a trio of kidnappers who snatched the wrong man in Florida.
We’re excited for both the new 404 Media “collab” (as the kids say) and the steady stream of original stand-alone reporting. All of this is possible because of the subscriber support we’ve gotten. If you’ve been holding off on upgrading to a paid subscription, we’d appreciate your sincere consideration so we can keep this type of original reporting going strong.
This week in the dockets, we try to tackle some pressing questions:
Who really holds the mantle of the premier male adult dancing organization?
Why do CareBears care so deeply about trademarks?
Are some last names forever barred from working in finance?
Why do fake DEA guys always have goatees? Isn’t that too on the nose?
How many TV reality stars will get arrested for COVID fraud this year?
Why wouldn’t a federal courthouse let the ‘CIA Director’ in?
And finally, and probably most importantly, where is a better place to hide half a million dollars than in a Super Mario school bookbag?
All this and more this week. So let’s dive in:
Let them fight: The Chippendales and the Strippendales are in an epic battle about who truly represents male adult dancing.
Rain, Shine, Hell, or High Unemployment: A former postal worker agreed to never seek re-employment as a postman in exchange for getting charges dropped for throwing people’s mail away.
Michael Bolton of Office Space has thoughts: If your last name happens to be the same as an investment company can you ever have a wealth management company under your last name? A federal judge will decide.
Shawshanked: A Bureau of Prison employee was allegedly smuggling in cigarettes and steroids into FCC Petersburg.
Rarity: The U.S. Government is seeking to revoke the citizenship of a man who was convicted of sexual assault in Georgetown. Maryland prosecutors are arguing that he lied on his naturalization forms when asked if he had committed a crime.
Eighth Times a Charm: A Guatemalan man in Palm Beach, Florida who has been removed from the United States six times prior was arrested for an open container charge and is facing his seventh deportation.
A bit much: A Georgia man caught a federal charge over a Monster energy drink and some Tastykake Rolls.
Catch me, we can: Fake DEA badges, Treasury receipts, and gold bars were the basis of a scam that stole thousands from the elderly.
Keep an eye on: The former general counsel for the Architect of the Capitol is suing for being fired.
One More eye: We’re also watching this kidnapping charge out of New Mexico. There’s a story to be told here if reporters google a bit.
Fool me once: A man serving multiple years in jail for threatening to kill President Obama was charged again prior to his release this month for sending threatening letters to President Biden.
Due Diligence: Prosecutors say two law firms were tricked into submitting false evidence to investigators about fraud related to the running of housing for adults with disabilities
Ugh: A Delaware cop and Air Force Reserve Staff Sergeant was charged (warning: graphic content) with possession of child pornography.
Oh: A search warrant in Missouri says Basketball Wives reality star/radio host Brittish Williams was running a COVID fraud while being under investigation for tax fraud.
Qui Transtulit Sustinet: The DEA arrested a “naked hispanic man” who was “partially hanging out a window” on drug charges.
Aurum: A Massachusetts man running an estate cleanout business found 170 Queen Elizabeth II Canadian Gold Maple Leaf coins worth $290,000. Then the double cross happened.
Check the locks: An Oregon man who claimed he “was the director of the CIA” broke into the Portland federal courthouse, barricaded himself in the mail room, was tased, arrested, and sent to the hospital, then escaped, and was re-arrested. Also, shoutout to the random Assistant U.S. Attorney who took a temporary assignment working court security.
Who knew: The CareBears Care-a-lot about trademark infringement.
State and Local: A judge ruled that an Atlanta transit police officer assigned to the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force was not actually part of and under control of the FBI when he got in a car accident leaving a counterterrorism training session.
Ugh: A Florida man who almost ran over six black men near the 1923 Rosewood massacre site was sentenced to a year and a day in jail.
Mama mia: Utah law enforcement seized nearly $600,000 dollars hidden in a compartment inside a truck inside a Super Mario Bros children’s bookbag.
Flying under the radar: For the first time in federal court records, the Justice Department noted the existence of ‘764’ an neo-nazi group that, according to prosecutors, “targets minor victims online, grooming and coercing them through threats, violence, blackmail and extortion to engage in destructive behavior ,including producing child sexual abuse material and engaging in self-mutilation, as well as violent acts against others, for the ultimate goal of destroying Western democracy.” The Guardian had an early writeup of the group a few weeks back.
Reminder: Turn off your Snapchat live location sharing feature.
Thanks for reading this week. Court Watch Koozies are being mailed out today to those who left comments in last week’s newsletter (and sent us an email with their address, if you haven’t yet please do so). Let’s extend the free Koozie offer to the first five comments in today’s issue.