Welcome to Court Watch #185. Our weekly roundup is below but please indulge us for a moment as we attempt a strained analogy. It’s not every day you get to see a court have its first public hearing ever so we made a point to attend Alien Terrorist Removal Court (ATRC)’s inaugural kickoff yesterday.
The whole thing reminded us a bit of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s 1922 short story, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. For our less pretentious readers, think Brad Pitt’s late 2000s movie. The premise of Fitzgerald's yarn is simple, babies are born young and grow old, with the one exception being Button, who was born old and grew young. The ATRC has Button-like qualities, things that should come naturally to a 30-year old court cause some consternation. It is still learning how to read (its own statute) and how to write (filing orders without an actual docket number).
In their infancy, typical courts work out the kinks: the constitutional questions, how to list things on the docket, where to file motions, and how to set up the courtroom tech, so it doesn’t interrupt a historic and nationally important hearing. Walking for babies and docketing for courts are pretty much the same, you learn by repetition and practice. These courts have their early years to figure this all out. Watching a federal court work out basic courtroom procedures in real-time in front of a packed courthouse can be a bit jarring, especially when the stakes of getting the process right are so high. Admittedly, our biggest takeaway from yesterday is Judge Ericksen is making an earnest effort to age the court’s experience quickly and not end up in the principal’s office (appeals) in its first days at the school of the judiciary
Like many thirtysomething millennials, the Alien Terrorist Removal Court has trouble finding its own housing still living in its parents’ basement (Courtroom 27a in the E. Barrett Prettyman federal building to be exact), its judges have to work multiple jobs (senior judge in Minnesota, chief judge of ATRC), and has (at least in its first hearing) shown a healthy skepticism of the government. Though similar to others experiencing the onset of a quarter-life crisis, it is struggling with the existential question of what its purpose is.
The next hearing is set for August 11th where it will decide if its first defendant can go home while our Button-court learns how to live in a world that will quickly expect it to act like its true age.
The Docket Roundup
Surprised no one noticed this story yet, but here you go: In January, the Pentagon’s Assistant Secretary for Health Affairs, Keith Bass, filed a defamation lawsuit against journalist Jeff Stein. Stein, who runs a news site called SpyTalk on Substack, was the subject of the lawsuit due to a story last year that reported that Bass was "effectively fired” from the CIA. According to a transcript reviewed by Court Watch from a hearing held in Alexandria federal court in mid-July, a judge questioned whether Bass’ lawsuit had reached the threshold proving true defamation. The court was ultimately unconvinced and let Bass leave to refile an amended complaint by Monday. He did not, and the case was dismissed. The next step will likely be Stein’s lawyers filing for lawyer fees for the lawsuit. Keeping the scooplet going: Substack confirmed last night that its Defender reporter defamation program covered Stein’s legal representation.
A former legal assistant at the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of Texas was indicted on state charges of tampering with evidence and terroristic threats related to allegedly doxxing an immigration law enforcement officer.
D.C. water and the feds are in talks about whether to enter into a consent decree over the Potomac sewage spill.
Flying under the radar: a jailhouse interview with one of the defendants in the Antifa Texas ICE case.
A new civil complaint targets ICE’s use of force policy involving vehicles.
The Secret Service clawed back some of the money stolen from a multimillion-dollar law enforcement spoofing scam.
A purported senior leader of an Iran-backed militia in Iraq is having some trouble getting mail in New York’s Metropolitan Detention Center.
Salman Rushdie’s attacker was convicted.
Elon Musk’s lawyers have issues with discovery in a case involving his political PAC.
“This is a direct threat. Come do something about it DoJ.” Never a winning strategy, Alaska man.
It’s footnote 2 for us.
Wilmer Hale was sued over a purported data breach.
There’s a bit of a chain of custody fight brewing in a case of a man accused of aiding the October 7th terror attack. Some additional background is in the defense filing.
Investigators say egypt[dot]com was a front for an illicit market on the dark web.
This sentencing memo from the captain of the Bella 1—an oil tanker that tried to evade the blockade on Venezuela and then the U.S. Coast Guard—is a fascinating read, including the part where 23 of the 28 crewmembers signed a letter refusing to work on a Russia-flagged ship. The government filed its sentencing memo, too.
Judge Bastian channels his inner Wolf of Wall Street.
It’s Bo Time. A man is suing the City of Charlotte after he says he was arrested for smoking a hemp cigarette at a bus stop after his Bojangles shift.
Two Chinese men pleaded guilty to smuggling hundreds of turtles to Hong Kong.
A pro se plaintiff’s telecoms spam case fell short against WinRed, the Republican fundraising operation which leans heavily on text messaging.
xAI sued Minnesota over its state law prohibiting AI explicit content. We wrote about the phenomenon for the Rabbit Hole a few weeks ago.
A federal law against drug users possessing firearms appears to be on the ropes in the Eighth Circuit.
One New Jersey federal judge ordered all BTS bootleggers to show up to court. We doubt they’ll need an overflow room.
Online right-wing influencers learned about shotgun complaints this week.
The Third Circuit’s reminder that its definition of the end of the day is not as fluid as most lawyers would appreciate.
This tune has less than a thousand views on YouTube, so let’s call our song of the week a scoop (and definitely a bop).
Lots of tea in this one lawsuit. Among them, according to the filing, former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo and his chief of staff are apparently involved in some intra-office drama at a crypto company.
An Oregon state prison guard allegedly cyberstalked his ex.
Out with the old (MAGA Burger), and in with the new (President Burger).
A shareholder sued a solar panel company, claiming its executives misled stockholders about the impact of President Trump’s tariffs on the company’s earnings.
Crypto scams strike again.
A man was arrested at the Atlanta airport after he allegedly gave a CBP agent a password that deleted all of the contents on his phone during a secondary search.
We don’t tend to go into the state courts, but when we do, it’s because the Louisiana State Supreme Court has officially gone off the rails.
Defense attorneys filed another motion to undo the Justice Department’s pyrrhic victory in the Abbey Gate case.
Metro bus hitting a U.S. Postal Service mail carrier vehicle resulted in a lawsuit.
Warner Brothers says hands off the Harry Potter merch.
There’s a cyanide threat case out of Illinois.
This week brought us to never-before-seen levels of Florida-ness, featuring an airboat tourism company suing another airboat tourism company based in the Everglades for hijacking its Google results.
A “street takeover” led to an explosive bust in Wisconsin.
The feds charged a Texas man after he reportedly walked into a VA clinic and held a gun to his head before surrendering.
Thanks for reading. In Sunday’s The Rabbit Hole, we took a single line from today’s roundup and went deep on it.
