#176: Moon Rocks and White Ethnostates

A federal judge has issued sanctions against the federal government that “arise from ICE’s repeated false and misleading statements to the Court about material facts, combined with ICE’s disregard of its constitutional obligation to ensure [a detainee’s] health and safety while she was in ICE custody.”

We don’t know who needs to hear this but there’s nothing stopping you from seeing a ‘moon rock’ in a U.S. Court on America’s birthday. (editor’s note: If you’d like us to go to the event and write it up, reply back to this email. We can’t decide if we’re too in the wonky weeds to know if that would be interesting or not)

Mo money, mo problems, says one judge’s footnote in the Southern District of Texas.

Your pro se of the week is a woman trying to take on Chicago’s Democratic machine and the Illinois state appellate courts.

The FBI arrested an alleged senior commander of Kata’ib Hezbollah, an Iran-backed militia that operates in Iraq. Here’s the criminal complaint.

At around 5:23am this morning, Laura Loomer filed notice to appeal the ruling which dismissed her defamation lawsuit against Bill Maher. 

It’s been over a month since the Justice Department took a L in a major terrorism trial, but here’s the judge’s decision not to suppress statements during interviews that may have been coerced by Pakistani intelligence.

A correctional officer allegedly had a romantic relationship with a person who was incarcerated at a federal prison in Virginia and helped smuggle contraband.

The Department of Justice lost to Maine’s Department of Education.

The feds cracked down on a group of alleged drug dealers in Charlottesville who apparently have incredible Instagram swag.

A 64-year-old California woman agreed to plead guilty to paying homeless people to register to vote and sign petitions.

We’re excited for the future It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode where the gang tries to get in on the $1.776 billion weaponization fund.

Speaking of which, two Capitol Police officers are suing to stop J6ers from accessing the fund.

Hey defense attorneys: A Hawaiian federal judge just quietly opened up a new avenue for discovery records for you. 

Prosecutors came for $1.5 million four years after a couple allegedly stole it from the IRS with some sovereign citizen-esqe techniques. 

President Trump’s lawyers are worried about the connections of a magistrate judge to Hillary Clinton in Trump’s defamation case against the BBC. His lawyers asked that the judge be reassigned. The judge declined. 

An Idaho couple wants to put a stop to scammers being able to use crypto. Godspeed.

A 28-year-old California man was arrested for a hate crime for allegedly assaulting a Jewish man near a synagogue.

The Feds say a Canadian woman voted illegally in Massachusetts.

A paranoid schizophrenic veteran wearing a ‘red Trump hat’ allegedly robbed a bank in Arizona.

There’s a new case out of Texas involving the Take It Down Act and a man accused of using AI to create revenge adult content.

Here’s the indictment for an Assistant U.S. attorney accused of copying the Jack Smith report under seal. She reportedly named the files after cooking recipes.

A New Jersey man was arrested for allegedly sending threatening emails to a Jewish nonprofit organization.

Speaking of New Jersey, a self-proclaimed prophet and his wife were indicted for coercing their congregants into labor and sex.

Citing in part safety concerns, a judge ordered the U.S. Marshals to help Candace Owens’ ex-security chief deliver a subpoena in the civil case suing Owens after a witness reportedly ducked service.

Now that the semester is over, a quick reminder never to threaten your professors.

A South Carolina man was indicted for allegedly threatening President Trump: “You have the right to remain silent, I’m gonna kill you in the most brutal way possible.”

And a Mississippi man was indicted for reportedly threatening Senator Roger Wicker and his choir group.

The judge on the Roblox ISIS case in Western Texas is out.

Two defense contractors were arrested for a purported scheme involving bribing a U.S. Army employee with more than a million dollars and inflating contracts.

A community in Arkansas that only wanted white people to buy property there has, unsurprisingly, been sued. 

You can be like us and be one of the handful of people in the world jamming out to this song of the week.

Jason Kessler and Gavin McInnes are fighting. And because we continue to live in the dumbest timeline, that includes fights over A.I.

Eion Higgins asked a judge to order Matt Taibbi to pay his attorney’s fees.

Shout out to this pro se for trying to intervene in a case (involving a billionaire walking scot-free on criminal charges) because “I simply do not like what the parties have proposed,” and then talks about how he deserves credit for proposals for peace in Gaza and Ukraine.

Elon Musk’s lawsuit against Sam Altman went down in flames because simple math is hard for BigLaw lawyers. But now the depositions from that case are being used in a copyright lawsuit against OpenAI.

A Georgia doctor was indicted for allegedly defrauding the VA.

The family of a man who was blinded by ‘less-lethal’ anti riot measures during a George Flyod protest is suing the police officer for wrongful death arguing that he overdosed on drugs years later as a result of PTSD from the event.

A medical clinic which is part of a business portfolio owned by U.S. Senator Jim Justice was sued by two patients in a class action lawsuit about whether the breast cancer mammograms performed were valid. 

If you wanted to see what a seizure notice (hint: think Lamborghini and Rolls Royce Ghosts) involving a 400 million dollar Ponzi scheme in Florida looks like, here you go. 

Once we read that, we were kind of went all in on seizure notices in Florida…the feds are trying to seize money from the ex-husband of Turkish online influencer/Top Model contestant arguing that he bilked investors out of millions for bogus ‘radar-cloaking devices’.

A weed store near the U.S.-Canada border got its inventory seized by authorities. 

The criminal complaint is one of the toughest reads we’ve had in recent memory so we’ve elected not to subject others to it, but this case says a Pennsylvania man coordinated with 764 and Com members to systematically abuse and groom an underage girl into self-harm.

There’s a new lawsuit against Trump’s presidential library, arguing that Florida shouldn’t have given him for free 300 million dollars of prime Miami real estate to build there.

A lot of very important U.S. government folks came to Minneapolis this week to highlight a series of indictments against places like the ‘Leaning Center’. Reporters everywhere filed their stories. But for our money, we’re more interested in another docket there that everyone else seemed to miss, raising questions for us on why the FBI seized nearly half a million dollars from a local mosque.

Lawyers for a man accused of committing atrocities on October 7th are raising concerns about allowing an Israeli official to testify in the case. Old school terrorism scholars may recall his testimony for the Holy Land Foundation case.

Investors believe a betting site may be making most of its money off the books. 

A Georgia woman may have only had 2% battery left on her phone but that didn’t stop her from allegedly threatening to shoot up a bank after they wouldn’t cash her check.

A Texas man was indicted this week for threatening the President. We don’t know what he said to trigger the criminal investigation because the courts' refuse to upload public records on their site.