Welcome to Court Watch #174.
Truth be told, it’s been a busy week for Court Watch. On Monday, our editor was awarded a Pulitzer Prize for investigative reporting with his New York Times colleagues. As a freelance contributor at the one of the few papers left in America that produces news and makes money, it’s a bit surreal to be allowed anywhere near those red stairs. We also apologize to the masthead editor who kindly helped us figure out where the elevators were. We promise to act like we belong if there ever is a next time. But also thank you. It’s a very confusing building. (If A.G. asks, we think the building is perfectly visitor-intuitive)
Here’s the deal, friends. We like court records. One might even argue we love them. So last year when two Gray Lady journalists asked if we’d like to spend our summer vacation going through tens of thousands of court records to better understand how the S.E.C. is enforcing or, perhaps, not enforcing the law, we were immediately worried that they would quickly realize that to us, it sounded not daunting but instead divine.
And so off we went to review dockets. And then re-review them. And then review them again. And then debate them. And then re-review them once more. There were spreadsheets. And then other spreadsheets. And then at some point, a scrap piece of paper with scribblings of S.E.C. filings that were only decipherable to us but held the Rosetta Stone to finishing the piece.
We joke, but having spent the last decade writing quick hit one day stories, long-form months-long investigations are a whole different vibe. Our view from the cheap seats is that the ‘journalist kids are alright’. We had a front row seat for countless hours reviewing every line of a judge’s order, a SEC filing, or a defense motion. All for the ability to say with some significantly informed authority that we did our due diligence. The cadre of reporters, ourselves perhaps excluded, were right proper reporters who care deeply about factually based, engaging, and no nonsense journalism. In this day and age, that is increasingly rare and dare we say, something commendable.
This is a large buildup to say that this week’s Court Watch may be a bit light because our focus was elsewhere this week. We did manage to sneak in some scoops though.
A final note on the week, despite an objectively killer opening line of our own news organization’s Pulitzer application for beat reporting (“Let’s put our cards on the table. In any normal time, Court Watch’s Peter Beck and Seamus Hughes would not be able to compete with the major news organizations that typically are awarded a Pulitzer Prize. However, this is not a normal year and Beck’s’ and Hughes’ experience in the court reporting beat is unrivaled.”), Court Watch was overlooked by the judges. We’ll endeavor to be in the journalism awards mix next year. So watch out, Star. There’s only one D.C. area news startup that will fall short in award ceremony time, and it’s Not Us.
And with that, onto the dockets.
The Docket Roundup
The Justice Department didn’t oppose the purported Epstein suicide note coming out. As such, here’s the note.
The White House Correspondent's Dinner gunman would like to disqualify U.S. Attorney Pirro, arguing she is a potential victim.
A contractor for the FAA was arrested after some allegedly wild threats against President Trump, including on his work computer and a refrigerator whiteboard documenting his plans that Secret Service agents could see while interrogating him at his home.
DHS’ lawyers scrambled to find the personal email addresses of their current and former employees.
Speaking of threats, here’s one from a Florida man who allegedly calls himself white boy nate.
Two not enough for you? How about a guy who reportedly drove around with threats written on his BMW windows and who was arrested at a <checks notes> car wash.
What’s up with the classified materials in the alleged Buffalo shooter’s trial?
A new lawsuit wants to put two weed companies to the test over whether THC actually helps anxiety, insomnia, and other health disorders.
Matt Taibbi lost his defamation suit against journalist Eion Higgins and the <checks notes again> battle for free speech?
Your pro se of the week is one guy who’s very upset over the mail.
Attorneys for the state of Florida and a federal judge apparently have a serious beef.
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A judge in Minnesota declined to grant a stay against a new ICE policy allowing agents to conduct operations in “sensitive” locations, including schools and places of worship.
The attorney for a man who was arrested for threats wants a judge to order his release, arguing that the magistrate flubbed the detention hearing.
The SPLC case is headed toward discovery.
A Michigan woman is suing Reuters and WestLaw for showing part of her social security number in their databases.
Your song of the week slowly builds, give it time.
As academics, we appreciate the DHS Inspector General casually reminding people he has a PhD in a press release quote about a guilty verdict.
The unions are lowkey mad at the Department of Justice for allegedly not working hard to get in a government employee’s signal chat.
A case unsealed in Florida but not yet in EDNY caught our eye, our spidey news sense says it may be interesting.
Google’s lawyers had a mini loss yesterday about sharing their search data.
A very persistent man/gas station robber was sentenced to twenty years for supporting ISIS. If you’re interested in how these criminal cases usually go, we got you covered.
We started this issue saying it was a busy week, so we really shouldn’t have to read a one hundred and forty three page opinion. But we did, and so should you if you’re interested in how DOGE got slapped down by a judge for using ChatGPT.
It’s very rare for the Justice Department to announce charges against a juvenile in a press release but the U.S. Attorney’s office of the Middle District of Pennsylvania did it. The group, Purgatory, tends to veer young in its membership so likely more of these to come in the future.
In other unadvisable news, a Wisconsin man tagged the Secret Service in his tweet about wanting to kill President Trump.
Turns out Merger and Acquisitions law firms are as scummy as you think that would be.
This is flying under the radar but it shouldn’t be. Perpetual Gitmo detainee Guled Duran has filed a petition for writ of mandamus. We’d note that his lawyers have a history of winning the seemingly unwinnable.
A judge with the court of federal claims still believes in class certification, agreeing to include more than a thousand fired USAID contractors into a lawsuit.
Law professors, we have a fun exam question for your students. If a judge can’t properly work the computer system to put in an correct deadline date, does the deadline really exist? (“ORDER granting 41 Motion for Extension of Time to Answer or Otherwise Respond University Corporation for Atmospheric Research answer due 7/10/2026. The July 10, 2026 is arbitrary and was inserted only because the computer wouldn't let me grant the motion without inserting a date.”)
A pizza shop owner, ISIS supporter, and occasional prison pen pal with our editor was convicted of murder.
We snuck that pen pal thing in to see if you noticed. But yes, true story. You’d be amazed what you can learn when you just ask someone why they did what they did.
With “Operation Southern Hot Herps”, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife service continues its unbeaten streak of perfect naming operations.
Former FBI agent/guy that JustNews is suddenly not a fan of, reminded a judge that another judge dismissed a FBI Director Kash Patel related defamation lawsuit.
Judge Howell is a bit unhappy with ICE and warrantless arrests.
A recently deployed soldier with suicidal ideations called the VA crisis center, it ended in criminal charges.
Former DHS Secretary Noem and former Attorney General Bondi were targets of threats by one Georgia man.
Federal judges in Rhode Island assigned a law professor to investigate an assistant U.S. Attorney.
Thanks for reading. A final note, we apologize for quietly not publishing a The Rabbit Hole piece last Sunday. After some early morning consideration, we needed another week to have it fully baked, as you’ll see in two days, it was worth the wait.