#170: The Opinion No One Wrote About

Speaking of flying under the radar: a man who was previously convicted of throwing an explosive device at a Confederate monument in North Carolina has been charged with threatening ICE agents in Florida. 

Because 2026 is full of fun extremist surprises, the Jewish Defense League is apparently back.

Judge Ana Reyes turned down a motion to reconsider her denial of a preliminary injunction to prevent the purported closure of three Department of Homeland Security oversight offices.

A judge approved this motion, allowing detainees at an Illinois ICE holding center to receive religious services during Holy Week. 

A man was accused of planting a hidden camera pen in a bathroom on a Celebrity cruise ship. 

A partner with Gibson Dunn in an email demanded his opposing counsel (who they alleged violated a protective order) tell a major news organization to remove content from their story and then ask the news organization to give them a list of everyone who read it. In a separate letter, Gibson Dunn told a state attorney general to direct the news organization about what it can and can not cover. (“We demand that you personally contact Bloomberg immediately to demand they agree not to report..”)

The Justice Department had some strong words in response to the Broadview Six’s contention that outside political influence may have influenced their indictment.

Oh. 

LinkedIn investment scams are now advertising tacky diamond rings.

A judge in Florida dismissed a civil case against the Trump campaign for texting a voter on a do-not-call list, saying the law doesn’t cover texting.

Four customers want their cut of tariff refunds from Lululemon.

A California judge finds that CBP violated a preliminary injunction order about immigration arrests.

You get to see how the sausage is made between the FBI and a federal judge perfecting a draft search warrant to look at ballots in Georgia. 

We never thought we’d write about a Charizard Pokémon card being at the heart of a federal fraud case, but here we are. Let’s do a fun hypothetical for our law professor readers: If a juror asks his brother about the actual cost of said Charizard card, does the defendant get a new trial?

Churches can’t support politicians and keep their non-profit status, though the judge leaned heavily on technical grounds for denial. 

CVS was sued by a smaller pharmacy for purportedly operating as a monopoly.

There’s a lot going on in this $53 million “uranium” crypto case. 

An Italian arms dealer pleaded guilty.

19 exclamation points (including footnotes) in a ruling has to be some kind of record.

A magistrate judge ordered the North Carolina man accused of threats and having ties to the true crime community to be held in pretrial detention.

Defense lawyers for the alleged would-be January 6th pipebomber said a now-CIA employee may be the actual culprit (casually glossing over the fact that their client allegedly confessed during an interrogation). And then the prosecutors filed a motion saying they should be held in contempt. It’ll be a fun trial, if it goes ahead.

A 27-year-old pro-democracy dissident from Russia filed a habeas petition in California after he was reportedly detained and ordered deported.

A Massachusetts man was arrested for threatening President Trump.

Not nearly enough songs quietly incorporate an accordion. Our song of the week does it without much fanfare. Speaking of lowkey, this new Nathaniel Rateliff cover of a Springsteen classic might be better than the original. Yes, we said it and we’re right about it. Also, now that we’re down a rabbit hole on Rateliff, check out our favorite live version of one of his songs. Finally, if all those choices are too mainstream for you, we’ll humbly suggest opening the windows, turning up the volume, and letting this largely undiscovered song flow over you. 

The former chief risk officer of a financial firm says she was fired for raising concerns that the company was violating customer laws.

We might be court nerds, but we found this judge’s opinion trying to delicately thread the needle on a legal argument without saying anything of substance about the underlying issue of the lawsuit fascinating.

A new lawsuit in Virginia wants a judge to order home school kids to be allowed to participate in public school sports leagues.

Elon Musk picked up another win to avoid being deposed about DOGE.

Speaking of Musk, here’s how his meeting with the SEC went.

Six Pittsburgh-area men were indicted for a purported antisemitic incident and conspiring to deliver misleading grand jury testimony.

Folks are apparently hiring cab drivers to lend a hand in helping immigrants illegally cross the border.

The plaintiffs in Al Otro Lado got a class certification, a week after arguing at the Supreme Court.

MIT was sued by a tenured linguistics professor following an investigation into whether he made antisemitic comments.

The first week of Vice President JD Vance’s fraud week began with the closure of the National Center for Disaster Fraud.

Your pro se of the week is a stream of consciousness from a man who identifies himself as “Playboy Killer” and who doesn’t appear to remember the president’s name.

The Ninth Circuit vacated a preliminary injunction against the Department of Homeland Security and ICE to respect press freedoms, telling the district court to scale it back some.

A man in Idaho pleaded guilty to bribing for <checks notes> a commercial driver’s license test.

The FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force finally netted an arrest in an immigration case eight years after the criminal complaint was issued.

An independent YouTube journalist sued the Massachusetts State Police after they apparently arrested him as he recorded inside a “buffer zone” outside a courthouse during the Karen Reed trial.

Our favorite reporter in Florida had a scoop that could’ve transformed the Magic Kingdom.

The names of the folks who ran DOGE may start to come out, but we’re not really sure if anyone will ever top “big balls.”

Main Justice played the victim in the state of Illinois’ case against the OMB.

The pro se defendant, who realized an SEC attorney hadn’t paid her New York state bar dues and got her withdrawn, despite the case being in federal court, ultimately came up short.

This habeas case from an Afghan refugee took the U.S. Government to task.

In this week’s worst of humanity, a member of 764 pleaded guilty in Maryland, and an animal crusher pleaded guilty in Pennsylvania.

From here on out, we’re going to express our general displeasure as “distinctly disfavored,” the same way one judge in Florida’s Middle District wrote about granting an extension on the Trump defamation lawsuit against the New York Times.

Mahmoud Khalil’s attorneys asked Judge Emil Above to recuse himself from an en banc rehearing before the Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit.

There’s a New Zealand dolphin case at the Court of International Trade. No seriously.

One guy in Pennsylvania allegedly broke a federal building’s glass door while trying to visit an FBI field office. 

CREW will have to wait a while longer for some FOIAed documents from the CDC after it shut down its entire FOIA processing office.

D.C. Judge Trevor McFadden denied a motion for a temporary injunction to stop THC medicare payments, writing that the standard was “very high.” We noticed and appreciated the play on words.

The U.S. Courts had to turn in all of their homework for the semester this past Tuesday. 47 orders in one day has to be some kind of record.

Two nonprofit leaders were indicted for allegedly embezzling more than $1.3 million from an organization that operates homeless centers in New York City.

The Trump administration wants to put pressure on one New Jersey town’s ban on natural gas appliances.

The feds clawed back some of a $15 million crypto kidnapping ransom.