Welcome to Court Watch #159. As the bitter cold swept through most of the United States, we kept ourselves toasty through the sweet warm embrace of the U.S. courts system. Nothing gets your temperature rising like spending copious amounts of money buying this document multiple times a day in dozens of districts. And sure, to an objective outsider, charging the public PACER fees every time to download a placeholder document would seem like it would be criminal. But luckily for the judiciary, they decide what is legal vs. what is just a necessary byproduct for their noble goal of creating an unregulated slush fund to buy new black robes.
And so while the weather is frigid and the U.S. Courts continue to troll us, we did manage to find some interesting court filings this week.
The Docket Roundup
In a letter filed late last night, the Justice Department says this week they assigned an “additional 80 attorneys from the Department’s Criminal Division” to review the Epstein files for release.
A federal judge took Larry Klayman (Laura Loomer’s lawyer in her defamation case against Bill Maher/HBO) to task, writing in an order, “Given this history, combined with Mr. Klayman’s complete refusal to acknowledge his blatantly unacceptable conduct at the depositions, the Court has no reason to believe that Mr. Klayman understands his professional obligations and that he is committed to conducting himself in compliance with the standards of professionalism that this Court expects and that are mandated by the Florida Bar. Accordingly, the Court refers Mr. Klayman to the grievance committee for the Ocala Division under Local Rule 2.04, to investigate alleged misconduct in this Court, described in Doc. 158, and to provide the Chief Judge a recommended resolution. The Court further refers Mr. Klayman to The Florida Bar for any action considered appropriate in any current investigations involving Mr. Klayman or otherwise.” 33 minutes later, Klayman filed an emergency motion to stay the order. The judge granted the stay shortly afterwards.
The Justice Department is struggling to have judges sign off on routine investigative applications in the Northern District of New York after a judge ruled the U.S. Attorney’s appointment improper. Meanwhile, Alina Habba wants another bite at the apple, and Lindsey Halligan did not hold back after a judge wanted to know her thoughts on the whole Comey-not being lawfully appointed situation. And to close the loop on all the tea, a judge found that the New Mexico U.S. Attorney was unlawfully appointed.
A California man allegedly threatened to place pipe bombs at Disneyland while Vice President Vance & his family visited. He told authorities, “he contemplated deleting the post but ultimately forgot to do so.” 2025 was another record year for threats to officials, with 135 individuals charged federally, according to research by NCITE and Chapman University.
A California man who threatened the Oakland mayor allegedly sent an email stating “This is terrorism. Reply to my message or else.”
A former U.S. Senator was sued for allegedly having an affair with her head of security.
A federal judge ruled that local police can't release Decarlos Brown's (the man accused of murdering Ukrainian refugee Iryna Zarutska on a bus) criminal record to North Carolina's legislative oversight committees.
X/Twitter has decided to take on the music industry in the Northern District of Texas.
A Virginia man was indicted this week after deputies and movers showed up to evict him from his Springfield home and reportedly found improvised explosive devices and a short-barreled shotgun.
The New York Times and President Trump are still sparring over whether to have their case in Florida or New York.
Somewhere in Ohio, a defense attorney is pulling their hair out over their client’s alleged Instagram stories.
One alleged drug dealer’s pro se Hail Mary went about as you’d expect.
This case didn’t get a lot of traction in the press but it may quietly determine a whole lot of visa cases.
A protester was arrested in California for impeding a federal officer after he allegedly threw an orange traffic cone.
You came for the court records, but we spend most of our time picking the perfect song of the week. Although if you’re a blowing whistles type in the Twin Cities, you may prefer this one by the same artist.
The feds reportedly used a Florida man’s license plate application for his black Ferrari to corroborate his phone number in a threat case.
Your pro se of the week was big mad about the Snoop Doggy Dogg Bowl game in Arizona (arguably the third-best college football bowl, after the Pop Tarts and Dukes Mayo bowls, of course).
A former intelligence analyst with the DEA pleaded guilty to stealing more than half a million dollars’ worth of seized crypto proceeds.
The owner of a California tech service that sold a spyware product that was advertised to suspicious romantic partners pleaded guilty.
The charging documents are still sealed but the docket sheet gives away the target. An Illinois man was arrested for allegedly threatening to shoot up “a Hanukkah party at the Collection at Janss on December 17, 2025.”
An immigrants’ rights group sued ICE in North Carolina to release a memo about its GPS ankle-monitoring policy.
A D.C. judge ruled the Trump administration violated the Fifth Amendment when it canceled environmental grant funding in only blue states.
Speaking of D.C., a jury acquitted a man on trial for aiming a laser pointer at Marine One.
Prosecutors in Virginia charged a purported member of a 1.7 million dollar drug ring that allegedly sold counterfeit adderall pills filled with meth.
RJ May, the former conservative South Carolina state lawmaker, was sentenced to 17 and a half years in prison after admitting to using a Kik account named “joebidennnn69” to trade child abuse materials.
January 6th pardons apparently don’t apply to allegedly voting twice.
A 24-year-old from Tennessee is set to plead guilty to hacking the Supreme Court’s electronic filing system. His hearing is this morning.
In other Washington national security news, here’s the case that led to a reporter’s residence being searched.
A man convicted of sexually assaulting a 7-year-old and a 4-year-old and sentenced to 30 years had his conviction overturned on appeal. The judges found that the government didn’t prove that the man was a “non-Indian” as required as part of the criminal charge.
A Canadian company wants nearly a million dollars back that it paid in ransom to the Qakbot malware hacker.
A Mississippi man gave his father real-time updates while burning down a synagogue. The father turned him in.
Unions are worried about a so-called “Trump loyalty pledge” that is now part of thousands of government job postings.
We’re as confused as you are that Elon Musk is still being sued by this administration's SEC.
Chinese basketball, bribery, and betting. Never a dull day in Pennsylvania.
An Oklahoma man became the 135th person charged federally in 2025 for threatening a public official with his violent rhetoric towards the FBI Director and his girlfriend over the Epstein files (also, stay for the “I am Batman” line to the cops).
Authorities have charged the Oregon man shot by law enforcement this week.
A DJ and a DraftKings founder were sued over “worthless NFTs.”
The chief judge of the Northern District of West Virginia is becoming an appeals judge for a week.
Female fencers are suing the USA Fencing Association over its gender policies.
A federal judge was less than amused by a plaintiff arguing that his made-up AI citations were kosher.
It seems to have flown under the radar, but the Justice Department rescinded fourteen firings in the Community Relations Service office.
Reason Magazine and The Institute for Justice are gonna have a field day with this civil forfeiture.
There’s a fascinating lawsuit about Russian sanctions and a New York property management company.
If you see a court reporter in Minnesota driving around in a new Bentley, you can thank the fourth estate for not coordinating their transcript requests.
An Islamic scholar who spent more than a decade in jail on charges related to purportedly encouraging others to join a terrorist organization got his conviction overturned. Though, for our money, the most interesting court document in the entire case came in 2020 when conservative lawyer Jonathan Turley offered to pick him up from Supermax. We have so many questions about the roadtrip.
Lawyers, may you never be Footnote 4’d.
“As the Court is aware, this Office continues to handle an unprecedented volume of emergent immigration habeas petitions…” says the New Jersey U.S. Attorney’s office.
The sentencing length of a man who hit a U.S. Marshal vehicle may hinge on how many schools were close by.
An Omaha woman is suing her ex-romantic partner, who is accused of releasing private intimate pictures of her to the local pickleball league participants.
Sometimes we just want to read about a good old-fashioned bank robbery case involving a dumpster.
“You are both a Bozo and Bonzo,” and then it goes further downhill for a man accused of threatening Governor Ron DeSantis.
We appreciate Mayor Adams’ administration’s commitment to consistency.
Thanks for reading. We’re glad you still value human reporting and we’re heartened to learn that no machine can beat us.