DOJ complaint image, EDVA
Welcome to Court Watch #132.
Between alerting parents to the signs of having a scammer son to giving the Administration a playbook on how not to be held in contempt to using a map to explain to authorities how zip codes work, federal judges have tried their best to be helpful this week. Even if they chose to show that help in their own unique way.
Truth be told, the courts were a bit quiet this week. But here’s a few that made some noise.
The Docket Roundup
A North Dakota man was arrested for making threats against a judge and two public officials including saying “Listen, I don’t want to to end like Minnesota”
"There is a way, which I have suggested, for defendants to lawfully seek to achieve their policy objectives without attempting to coerce the Cities and Counties. I suggest that they use it.” Judge Orrick brings the spice.
Your pro-se filing of the week, “Please don’t let anyone due [sic] harm to me – like take my spine.”
DOJ disagreed with a defense attorney that President Trump’s January 6th pardons covered a man’s outside conduct of allegedly receiving child sex abuse material, in a break with several other cases in which prosecutors agreed to dismiss other charges not directly related to January 6th.
A New Mexico law firm is reportedly tied up in pandemic relief fraud.
The first footnote is worthy of an epitaph.
A new lawsuit says Apple systematically misrepresents its products as having more storage capacity than users can actually access.
In-N-Out wants a YouTube prankster to stop wearing a fake In-N-Out uniform to film himself trolling customers at their stores.
Scammers, have some class. Spare the small LEGO toy store in Richmond.
A man who protested at an ICE facility in Portland was charged with assaulting a federal officer after he allegedly pushed a Border Patrol agent and kicked tear gas canisters deployed by agents back in their direction. The complaint notes that none of the tear gas canisters made contact or injured the officers.
DC’s weed laws stay confusing. The feds want a judge to keep a DC man detained after he was arrested for purportedly carrying a firearm as a felon. According to the government’s motion, officers with the Metropolitan Police Department recovered the man’s firearm during a search incident to arrest for smoking a blunt outside.
A judge granted a preliminary injunction against the Trump administration in a case filed by San Francisco about the administration’s policies targeting “sanctuary cities.”
“Accordingly, a cartel member, or anyone for that matter, could simply cross Yarbrough Drive from a 79935 business to a 79925 business to avoid the Border GTO’s reporting requirements. Using their feet, cartel members can avoid 79935’s lower reporting threshold…” A judge opens up Google Maps to issue a ruling.
A counterprotestor at the No Kings protest in Nashville was charged with allegedly possessing a handgun while under a conservatorship.
Meta is being sued by a group of online scam victims, who say the company benefits financially from scams and doesn’t do enough to stop scammers.
A DC judge blessed us with a list of Signs Your Kid Is Engaged in Wire Fraud. “[A]lthough the Court does not doubt the sincerity of Chetal’s parents’ testimony or their love for their son, the Court lacks confidence that releasing Chetal to their supervision will ensure his continued participation in this matter or deter future criminal conduct… Chetal’s parents knew that Chetal, while an unemployed student living at home, frequently went away on trips with friends in private jets, rented multi-million-dollar homes in the Hamptons, and made a series of luxury purchases. Chetal even gifted his parents a Lamborghini. Chetal’s parents also knew that Chetal had a duffel bag full of cash ($500,000 worth) hidden in their laundry machine. And his parents further knew that Chetal—a young man—was receiving plushie children’s toys stuffed with something unusual (more cash). In short, releasing Chetal to his parents’ custody would mean releasing him into the same environment in which he was able to perpetrate his crimes in the first place.”
The FBI arrested a California man for allegedly attempting to provide material support to ISIS after several months of reported conversations with undercover agents.
ICE announced that it had arrested eleven Iranian nationals in the last week for purported immigration offenses. One of those arrested is a former University of Texas student who ICE says was illegally carrying a 9mm pistol at the time of his arrest.
The feds say a Pennsylvania man paid off a USPS mail carrier to drop off his weed shipments.
Two ex-FBI agents are suing the Bureau over its clearance revocation policies.
Turns out SDNY prosecutors take it seriously when a witness purportedly perjures themselves in a RICO gang case.
For our song of the week, we went with the 502s since we just picked up some concert tickets for their new tour. If that’s not your vibe, try our recent recording of The Boxer.
DOJ’s Civil Rights Division filed a civil complaint against Orange County’s Registrar of Voters, claiming his office has not removed ineligible voters from local voting rolls and refused to disclose a noncitizen’s information to the DOJ.
Law enforcement says a Georgia chiropractor helped arrange a $12 million fake COVID-19 test scheme.
A lawsuit against Fat Joe filed by his former hype man starts with a trigger warning.
The ATF arrested a Michigan man after he allegedly became frustrated and threatened them for not arresting him for one of several odd incidents, including one in which he shot off blanks outside a federal complex. The filing indicates the man may suffer from mental illness.
Hims is being sued by a shareholder after the makers behind the weight loss drug Wegovy accused the company of selling Chinese knockoffs of the drug.
One guy reportedly kicked a Customs and Border Patrol K9 at Washington’s Dulles Airport after the dog alerted to his luggage.
Don’t worry, local journalism…<checks notes>... Chuck Todd is gonna save us.
Attorneys representing the City of Fort Bragg, California, are struggling to respond to a pro se case filed by a homeless man who says police officers lied to him about his cat being injured in order to tow his car.
James Wesley Burger, the eighteen-year-old we wrote about last week for allegedly threatening on Roblox to commit a terror attack on a Christian concert, was indicted this week.
Thanks for reading. A final note, in case you missed it, here’s our piece this week about being petty with a purpose. Our sincere thanks to the several new and existing readers who were inspired to become paid subscribers. If you are one of them and would like a free Court Watch koozie, shoot us an email with a good address, and we’ll throw it in the mail early next week. If you haven’t made the jump to supporting Court Watch with a paid subscription, you can do so here, and we’ll also send you a koozie. Finally, a number of our readers have asked about other Court Watch merchandise. We’re figuring out the logistics on that now and should have more details in the coming weeks.