#119: Angry Rich Liberals.

Welcome to Court Watch #119. Unfortunately, no one added us to any encrypted top-secret-depending-on-your-party-affiliation/totally-not-top-secret-at-all-depending-on-your-party-affilation group chats this week. Which is disappointing because, as many an Assistant U.S. Attorney can attest, we can quietly lurk in the background with the best of them. We will watch a court docket for years before actually writing about it. Just add us to the chat, you’ll forget we even exist. No immediate story for us. As proven by our current paid subscriber numbers, we don’t go for the immediate gratification of a viral piece. It’s all slow and steady wins the race vibes. We’re still watching a 2013 docket in Virginia that we’re sure will be a hell of a story when the judge finally realizes they should have unsealed it more than twenty years ago. At least four of you will read it with great interest.

And that’s the rub. We didn’t create Court Watch to be the place for the splashy. We grind it out every week to find you court records that are both interesting and informative. And in the age of fleeting virality, there is something to be said of good ole reliability.

The courts, for their part, were reliable in this week’s theme of money. In today’s roundup, you can make a couple million dollars on our exclusive stock tip, spend that money on an oceanfront property in Nantucket as long as you fight to stop that allegedly annoying clean energy push, ask for a billion dollars while in jail, and watch half a billion disappear because Congress can’t do their basic responsibilities. As the Wu-Tang Clan (kindof) says, Cash Rules Everything Around (court) Motions. (C.R.E.A.M.)

The Docket Roundup

• The Trump Administration filed a lawsuit against the American Federation of Government Employees late last night in Texas arguing that the union’s collective bargaining agreements impede the president’s ability to reshape the federal workforce.

• We could have shorted the Nasdaq stock before publishing and retired on a beach, but journalism ethics being what it is, we are still working. 

• As The Wire taught us well, you come at the queen, you best not miss. 

• A large law firm would like a redacted client to pay them millions they say are owed for legal services. 

• Cornell University is being sued by a student who says his due process was not respected in a sexual assault case. 

• Footnote 5 is the stuff of law school nightmares. 

• President Trump’s former campaign manager is suing The Daily Beast for defamation. 

• A pardoned January 6th rioter asked a federal court in North Carolina to dismiss his separate charges for possession of child pornography and an unlawful firearm that came to light after the FBI searched his property under a warrant for his alleged conduct at the Capitol.

• The largest dog fighting seizure case occurred in Oklahoma. 

• The owner of WeatherTech is suing Booz Allen, saying the contractor did not properly secure his tax returns while working for the IRS, resulting in leaks to ProPublica and the New York Times.

• A mildly sophisticated business email compromise scam resulted in a seizure. 

• On the fence about upgrading to a paid subscription? Ending today – all new paid subscribers can get a PACER training from our editor. We’ll send out details early next week, make sure to drop us a line that you’re interested in a training once you subscribe.

• There’s a legal debate on who owns the Republican party in Washington. 

• It wouldn’t be a case out of the Southern District of Florida without cocaine and boats. 

• The search warrant for the January 6th bomber was unsealed. Tower Dumps anyone? 

• A security camera system probably isn’t the wisest thing to have when law enforcement wants to prove that you’re running a drug house.

• Our song of the week will stick with you. 

• A man incarcerated in a New York prison would like a billion dollars after he “felt used, misled, and discarded” by the Trump Administration’s DEI rollbacks after he had promoted the President’s campaign on social media.

• 93% percent on Rotten Tomatoes but was the movie idea stolen?

• Hunter Biden has a new lawyer of Murdaugh murders fame.

• The FBI arrested a man who allegedly threw a Molotov cocktail at a Tesla dealership in Las Vegas. For those keeping track, they tower dumped for him, too.

• A literal outlaw got in trouble on a Marine base.

• DOJ has announced an investigation into the intelligence leak to the New York Times. Assuming it was done on Signal, everyone involved should be fine. 

• The FBI wants to look at the devices of the two men who allegedly ran the dark web marketplace Rydox.

• Walter Isaacson wants to get out of a subpoena to be deposed in the securities case against Elon Musk. Side note, we may have found the ultimate loophole. As part of the case, his book was entered into the federal court record, which under the local rules allows for the public to gain access to it through the clerk's office. Take that, library. 

• A former school board member in Washington state was arrested for allegedly threatening a member of Congress and their staff over delayed social security payments.

• One of the plaintiffs suing the administration over its decision to shut down the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau passed away. She was a pastor and was trying to get a public-service discharge for her student loans but the filing alleges she couldn’t after the OMB ordered a work stoppage. Her attorneys have motioned for her husband, who the student loan debt will go to next, to replace her as a plaintiff in the case.

• A fifty-five-year-old man was accused of sexually assaulting three separate women on American Airlines flights he was seated next to. The Independent has the write-up.

• Come for the history lesson on the Federalists, stay for the opinion indicating that the plaintiffs will likely win on the merits. 

• Here’s the lawsuit filed by American Oversight against the “Houthi PC small group” for allegedly not keeping records of their Signal chats.

• An alleged serial stalker purportedly harassed more than fifty women of the same profession. Law enforcement said they identified the man in part by his OnlyFans account.

• Can you charge extra for a 1 AM filing? We feel for the lawyers in the Twitter Media Matters case (see the PDF title).

• Two producers claim Tyla didn’t give them credit for her Grammy Award-winning hit Water.

• A plaintiff is suing a bunch of cannabis distributors, saying their edibles are too much.

• Here’s an interesting power of attorney case out of DC.

• There’s Hurricane drama in Florida. 

• We noted a few weeks back we found it strange that an FBI Joint Terrorism Task Force agent was filing an affidavit in a random illegal machine gun conversion case. Now, we know why.

• The Special Inspector General for Pandemic Recovery has an ominous section in their monthly roundup titled “Who Will Be On Watch?” The office’s authorization ran out yesterday. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. 

• A civil complaint alleges atrocious crimes by the Iranian government against a family.

• Speaking of Iran, the U.S. Government is moving to seize 47 million dollars of Iranian oil proceedings from Croatia. 

• The federal judiciary announced a task force of judges to consider responses to threats to the third branch’s independence and security.

• Rich people would like their views of the water unobstructed. Though to be clear, “This is not about protecting rich people’s views,” Matt Fee, vice chair of the Select Board, told the New Bedford Lights. However, their footnote in their own filing did cite a report about how it affects rich people’s views. Also, never thought we would see Nantucket glowingly cite a Trump Administration Executive Order. 

• Australian reporters may want to check out this filing. Some background here. 

• The Justice Department says it seized $200,000 that was intended to support Hamas.

Thanks for reading. A final note, 404 Media and Court Watch is about to drop a couple stories today on topics that hit against at least two of the Ten Commandments. We may not send them out because the adorably puritanical email filters of multi-billion-dollar technology companies might frown on it, but check out our site later today.